Dr. Saturday - NCAAF

There are two ways to take Jacquizz Rodgers' probable absence from the lineup Saturday, when Oregon State tries to lock up its first Rose Bowl berth in 43 years against Oregon. If you're one of those "conventional thinkers," this probably sounds like bad news: Quizz is the Beavers' MVP, a slashing, Mike Hart-esque workhorse who, despite his size, logged at least 20 carries in nine straight games before leaving OSU's win over Arizona in the first half last week. He averaged 118 yards in those games and put himself and his team on the national map by slaying USC for 186 in September. He might be the one player in the Pac-10 his team can least afford to lose, and Saturday would be the worst possible time to find out.

On the other hand, if you're from the school of Major League, The Bad News Bears, The Waterboy, Hoosiers, The Mighty Ducks, A League of Their Own, Little Giants, the 1973 New York Knicks or pretty much any other underdog sports movie ever made, you've seen this too many times to be worried. The Beavers' season is already a contrived screenplay, complete with a rock bottom performance that validated all the skeptics, followed by an obscure hero emerging from the most unlikely place to spark a storybook run that's put the team within reach of its greatest dream, and the chance to avenge its greatest humiliation -- and all that's standing in the way is its Most. Hated. Rival.

This foolishness has been written a thousand times, and it ends one of two ways: Either OSU has to go that last mile without its star, as a team, dammit, or not at all, or Quizz walks into a dejected locker room at halftime of the Civil War, straps on the pads against the doctors' orders, leads the greatest comeback in school history and Oregon State punches its ticket to Pasadena while Phil Knight mugs angrily and is then led away by police for some reason. But the story never ends with the Beavers packing for the Sun Bowl. This isn't some mind-bending Charlie Kaufman downer; it just doesn't work that way. Quizz Rodgers is a likable protagonist, and Oregon State has to pull this out at the last minute. Decades of foolproof narrative convention demand it.

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  1. two_smellyfeet
    1. Posted by two_smellyfeet Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:38 pm EDT

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    "Storybook season?" Don't they have 3 losses? They must have really low standards at OSU.
  2. Ummmm
    2. Posted by Ummmm Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:34 pm EDT

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    They do.
    Jk. I think winning the Pac-10 and Rose Bowl in a Penn-State rematch would be a pretty good season...
  3. rolston12b
    3. Posted by rolston12b Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:49 pm EDT

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    First two games: losses
    3rd loss is a win foiled by their own kicker's ineptitude
    Toppling Giant (USC Ranked 1) and going on to make the only goal they could ever strive for (Rose Bowl) with 3 losses in a conference that boasts seasonal powerhouse USC does in fact constitute a storybook season.
    Oregon State has more to worry about than trying to compete with schools who worry more about their football teams than academics (cough SEC cough)
  4. Burninator
    4. Posted by Burninator Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:56 pm EDT

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    Storybook because they'll win their conference and go to the Rose Bowl, dumb dumb... In a conference headed by USC, that's a pretty reasonable standard.
  5. CDB
    5. Posted by CDB Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:20 pm EDT

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    i just want to thank you doc for the use of "mike hart-esque" as a positive, complimentary adjective.
  6. JosephineTX
    6. Posted by JosephineTX Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:21 pm EDT

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    Anybody else think that photo looks like the players are attempting some kind of group sex act, despite the fact that they're wearing uniforms and helmets?
  7. FilmFlam
    7. Posted by FilmFlam Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:59 pm EDT

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    Dumb_Dumb, you are aptly named. OSU class of '97
  8. kate r
    8. Posted by kate r Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:47 pm EDT

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    The college football teams that would make the most awesome movies: 1) 2003-05 USC, 2) Jimmy Johnson-era Miami, 3) 2005 Texas, 4) Pony Express-era SMU, 5) 2002 Ohio State, 6) 2006 Boise State, 7) 1995 Nebraska, 8) 1995 Nebraska, 9) 1986 Penn State, 10) 1983 Miami
  9. two_smellyfeet
    9. Posted by two_smellyfeet Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:38 pm EDT

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    You guys are morons. So what OSU beat USC. They seem to have USC's number when it comes to that. What other teams have OSU beat who were any good this year? They lost to Utah, and were blown out big time by Penn ST. The Pac 10 as a whole sucks this year. Winning that conference is not that big of a deal.
    You guys can claim "storybook season" if you want. I don't really care. But a 3 loss season will get coaches fired in some places. And 3 losses seem to be the norm for OSU. I don't see anything "storybook" about it.

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