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Dr. Saturday

Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:52 pm EDT

The Dregs: If Ohio State chops down a WAC patsy, does it make a sound?

By Holly Anderson

Lame game(s) of the week.

Bottom of the Barrel: New Mexico State (3-5) at Ohio State (6-2)
The line on this game has moved over the course of the week from 38.5 to as high as 44, and we're wondering if anyone watching has ever actually seen Ohio State play football. This will be a decisive win for Ohio State, don't get me wrong, and mansome chest-thumps to them in advance for taking on the seventh-place team from the WAC and living to tell the tale, but look for more of a "stop hitting yourself ... why are you hitting yourself?" slapfight than an outright bloodbath.

As previously stated in this space, Tressel will get his team to a 21-point lead and sit on it until it hatches. Many teams would go for the jugular the week after when looking to erase recent memories of a nasty upset. Ohio State is not this team.

The Rest of the Worst:

• Georgia Tech (7-1) at Vanderbilt (2-6)
Grindingly, grudgingly, the Jackets are one of those one-loss teams that seems like they ought to be more like 5-3, not because of the actual caliber of football being played on the field but because it just seems correct. They wouldn't be making this list at all, except that it is their unhappy fortune to have scheduled Vanderbilt this week, a typically terrible team that specializes in making opponents look terrible, too.

• UAB (2-5) at UTEP (3-4)
National title preview match! Alabama at Texas! This'll be a game for the ages -- wait, what? Not that Alabama and not that Texas? Pffft.

• Washington State (1-6) at Notre Dame (5-2)
Spite pick alert! Spite pick alert! The Irish will win by a billionty points and we'll all have to hear about it for a solid week like they won the Rose Bowl instead of obliterating a squad whose only win was a three-point, overtime hot-footing of Southern Methodist. This game gives us shivers. (The bad kind.)

Several actual Good Football Games await the Irish, including Stanford and subtly surging Pittsburgh, to say nothing of the rivalry match with Navy next weekend, but you try telling the message board shrieker-monkeys to hang on before booking their BCS tickets. (NB: Email address is at the bottom, Domers. Go right on ahead.)

Western Kentucky Line Watch.
Tracking the odds against I-A's newest cubs.
The luckless, hapless, winless Hilltoppers -- for whom we would be feeling a lot more sympathy off a 62-24 pantsing at Middle Tennessee State if their mascot didn't give us night terrors -- are mere 10-point underdogs Saturday to their Sun Belt cellar-mates, the 1-6 North Texas Mean Green, themselves off a 50-26 to SBC overlord Troy.

Apart from the trip to Florida Atlantic over Thanksgiving weekend, UNT is likely Western Kentucky's best remaining chance for a win in 2009.

- - -
Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.

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19 Comments

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  1. BBS
    1. Posted by BBS Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:14 pm EDT

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    One could theoretically make GT-Vandy more interesting by offering up a Rhodes Scholarship to the winner, but normal people don't give a [profane] about that kind of nonsense in the first place.
  2. timjames99
    2. Posted by timjames99 Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:15 pm EDT

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    Holly, we do appreciate your frequent alerts for homer and spite picks.
  3. Holly
    3. Posted by Holly Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    I try to cop to it whenever possible. It's only fair. (Although I will gladly support the Irish in a couple weeks against Pitt.)
  4. NCT
    4. Posted by NCT Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:15 pm EDT

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    @ 1: Fun fact: Over the last several years, UGA has had more Rhodes Scholars than GT and Vandy. Combined. Of course, there's the fact that UGA's student body is bigger than GT's and Vandy's. Combined. But that's a minor point.
  5. DC
    5. Posted by DC Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:13 pm EDT

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    Spot on call on the Notre Dame game.
  6. Matt S
    6. Posted by Matt S Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:15 pm EDT

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    I suppose that people are bound to make mistakes from time to time, Holly, but if you want to talk smack you shouldn't make ones as stupid and easily checkable as this: LAST week was "the week after a nasty upset" for the Buckeyes. Like I said, stupid, easily checkable, and still standing hours after the fact.
    Also, FWIW: LAST week, Tressel got his "21-point lead" about midway through the 3rd Q, and he sat on it so hard that it hatched almost another point a minute the rest of the game.
    Granted, it was "just" Minny LAST week, and there's three very tough weeks for the Buckeyes after this one, but it's worth noting that some people who - unlike Holly - actually watch the Buckeyes have noticed some subtly promising evolutions in playcalling the last 5 quarters or so.
    I agree that the 44-point spread is ridiculous, however.
  7. Ancient Chinese Secret
    7. Posted by Ancient Chinese Secret Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:14 am EDT

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    Dead on about the Notre Dame game.
    And also totally wrong. This game, which has yet to be played, has already caused over a dozen coronaries on NDNation. The proper way to approach this is to be floating in a haze of whiskey at kickoff and then watch the Fat Man score 70 with Golden Tate and Jimmah alone.
  8. troot_60
    8. Posted by troot_60 Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:13 am EDT

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    Jim Tressel is such a jerk. I can't stand this guy and his consistent unwillingness to embarass weak opponents. When will he learn from Joe Paterno and the pantheon of SEC coaches, who pioneered the art and science of humiliating a weakling? What say you, oh maven of the sweater vest? Why can't you be like Urban Meyer and show the Citadel and Charleston who's boss by 60 points? You'd earn some respect then. Nothing showcases your team's prowess like beating up the neighborhood gimp.
    Screw you, Jim Tressel. Screw you and your archaic sense of decency and sportsmanship. WE'LL GET YOU YET, you compassionate jerkface!
  9. Holly
    9. Posted by Holly Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:12 am EDT

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    Has it really been two weeks, not one? My mistake. (But surely you can understand why disinterested parties might tune out on BCS contenders who lose to Purdue, right?)
  10. troot_60
    10. Posted by troot_60 Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:12 am EDT

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    Gee, Holly, and here we thought being an "interested party" was your...um...job? As a football blogger? Crazy, we know.
  11. Festus
    11. Posted by Festus Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:11 am EDT

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    @#8: Right on. I still remember Mack Brown weaseling into the 2005 Rose Bowl over Cal, because the Bears took a knee in the red zone instead of piling on Southern Miss. Sportsmanship lives in some places, but not in Texas and not in the SEC.
  12. elitist jerk
    12. Posted by elitist jerk Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:32 am EDT

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    @11: Ya mean the year that Texas defeated Michigan in the Rose Bowl and Cal got smoked by Texas Tech in the Holiday Bowl?
  13. texbuck40
    13. Posted by texbuck40 Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:36 am EDT

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    If anyone can tell me how it is that Holly is getting paid for this half-assed attempt at blogging, I'd like to know.
  14. bignasty9600
    14. Posted by bignasty9600 Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:50 am EDT

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    @13: She gets PAID for this?? What a gig! It's like my girlfriend writes this entries...just regurgitating what SportsCenter said, not paying attention to anything and the like. Subtly surging Pitt?? They are a top 15 team and been everywhere lately.
  15. rob
    15. Posted by rob Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:26 am EDT

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    "Several actual Good Football Games await the Irish, including.......the rivalry match with Navy next weekend"
    Nice dig Holly. After they whip a hapless Wazzu squad they will probably schedule Eastern Washington in the future because they 'totally OWN the state of Washington'.
  16. stu s
    16. Posted by stu s Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:19 am EDT

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    i hear she gets $4500 each time she writes this article.
    in her pajamas
    in the basement
    big money in blogging and stirring you fools up
  17. Holly
    17. Posted by Holly Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:06 pm EDT

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    To say nothing of the side benefits, like the pile of poorly spelled hatemail/marriage proposals I'm sifting through right now. Great entertainment when read aloud on weekend car trips.
  18. troot_60
    18. Posted by troot_60 Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:05 pm EDT

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    You must take a lot of weekend car trips, Holly, because you sure aren't watching much football!
  19. Chris
    19. Posted by Chris Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:39 am EDT

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    Awwwwwww, SNAP!!! Watchoo got 2 say now Holly?!

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