Lame game(s) of the week.

Today, with no winless-versus-winless games on the weekend slate, we zero in on the next-best kind of misery, that of once-proud programs facing uphill battles against teams they could've obliterated a year or a decade ago. Tune in at your own peril.

Bottom of the Barrel: Bowling Green (1-1) at Marshall (1-1)
Time was when Marshall strode alone as the unquestioned giant of the MAC, but the freakish win streaks of the nineties are long past and the Thundering Herd haven't pulled down a conference title in any league since 2002. They were waylaid by a hopping mad Virginia Tech squad in Blacksburg last weekend and are now three-point underdogs to the Falcons. Will the Herd rediscover its former glory the former conference-mate that gave so much trouble to heavily-favored Missouri in Week Two? We'll never know, because we're changing the channel. Next!

The Rest of the Worst:
• Wyoming (1-1) at Colorado (0-2)
It's beyond piling on at this point to say this will be a nigh-unwatchable game, but maybe Darrell Scott will turn out another explosive first-half performance on the ground and give Colorado a comfy lead to sit on and ponder how they've fallen so far to be grateful to beat Wyoming.

• Northwestern (2-0) at Syracuse (0-2)
We had an SEC game featured here last week, so it stands to reason the Big Ten and Big East are fair game. Will Northwestern kick off 2009 with another impressive undefeated streak (though sans comrades-in-nerditry Duke and Vanderbilt this year), only to crumble as their conference schedule stiffens up in October? Thanks to a severe case of Paulus coverage backlash, we have less than no interest in finding out.

• Ball State (0-2) at Army (1-1)
Say, remember when Ball State won twelve in a row last year and Letterman got involved and every sunset in Indiana was filled with rainbows and then they lost the conference championship to an opportunistic upstart and got creamed in the bowl game and then the Cardinals' star quarterback and head coach both left them to extend that streak into '09 by dropping two unforgivable games to North Texas and New Hampshire? Remember that? Then you're well aware that this game is gonna be baaaad. (Army, we apologize. Last week you were part of the problem; here you're just an innocent bystander. We're sorry you're not playing a better team.)

Western Kentucky Line Watch
Tracking the odds against I-A's newest cubs.
This week, the Hilltoppers face I-AA Central Arkansas, and the line is ... nonexistent, per oddmakers' usual disinterest in inter-division affairs. We'll pick right up next week, when WKU travels to -- gulp -- Navy.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.