Lame game(s) of the week.

Bottom of the barrel: Louisville (4-6) at South Florida (6-3)
The battle for the fifth-place slot in the Big East pits two distinct brands of disappointment against one another. On one hand, you've got USF, a puckish program still in its adolescence, following up an 8-5 season and a bowl victory in 2008 and a five-game win streak to open this season with a particularly gruesome twist on its traditional midseason slump -- namely, three losses in the past four weeks, punctuated by the stick end of last Thursday's 31-0 beating at Rutgers.

On the other, there's Louisville, a once-proud outfit fallen into serious disrepair under the stewardship of Steve Kragthorpe, whose precious insistence that he won't be fired this winter continues to charm knowing audiences across America. Our favorite spin to date:

I know there's people that don't like me, don't like way I do things. If they don't want to come support me, that's fine, but I think they need to come and support these players.

We'd be with you out of principle, coach, but we have to sympathize with Louisville fans: There's something about a 10-9 win over Syracuse that leaves us cold, too.

The rest of the worst:
• Colorado State (3-7) at New Mexico (0-10)
Winner of this rugged pillow fight gets to clamber out of last place in the Mountain West! Yes, when you're writing about teams that have combined to go 0-12 in MWC games that's something to get excited about! (Seriously, Colorado State, is everything alright? We had such high hopes for you after that 3-0 start. We know doctors if you need help.)

• UTEP (3-7) at Rice (1-9)
Honestly, UTEP could lose this game. It could. The Miners could lose any game and it would no longer surprise us, just as it would no longer surprise us, after watching them enduring the single worst beating any team has suffered this season at Texas and mixing losses to bottom dwellers Buffalo and Memphis with out-of-nowhere stunners over C-USA West heavies Houston and Tulsa, if they somehow wound up knocking off the Indianapolis Colts and then collectively levitated out of the stadium. The entire Miner team could turn into spotted toadstools on the sideline and be bagged en masse by border-hopping drug runners and it wouldn't faze anyone after what they've put us through this year.

• Florida International (3-7) at Florida (10-0) and Chattanooga (6-4) at Alabama (10-0)
Tra-la, tra-la, it's two more conference powerhouses killing time and maiming egregiously overmatched opponents before moving on to traditional rivals (Florida State and Auburn, respectively) to close out the season, games which will also not count toward or against their already-clinched SEC title game berths. Good night, this season is a yawner.

Western Kentucky Line Watch.
Tracking the odds against I-A's newest cubs.
The 0-10 Hilltoppers are off this week, giving them time to build on their closest loss of the season, 21-18 at Louisiana-Monroe, and find a replacement for lame-duck head coach Dave Elson before closing out the year at Florida Atlantic and at home against Arkansas State. We're sure a little rest is all they need.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.