Lame game(s) of the week.

Bottom of the Barrel: West Virginia (3-1) at Syracuse (2-3)
What could we possibly have done to deserve this? The Mountaineers' last outing was enough of a box score horrorshow, but when their one-two offensive punch of "Just let Jarrett Brown make up plays on the fly while Bill Stewart wanders the stands in search of an Ovaltine vendor" and "Let Noel Devine coach the team when things go wrong" meets Syracuse and its plucky point guard-quarterback, Greg Paulus, fresh off a five-interception performance against South Florida, there are bound to be fireworks. And not the fun kind. You know when those smiley-face fireworks go off sideways and just look like fiery amorphous blobs? That's what we're in for here.

The Rest of the Worst:

• Arizona State (2-2) at Washington State (1-4)
There's a fine football game afoot this Saturday night in Washington! This is not that game. Bet on a shutout on the part of the Cougars, thanks to their banged-up freshman quarterback guiding the nation's 112th-ranked offense into the teeth of Arizona State's third-ranked defense. With that kind of stinginess, you may be wondering how the Sun Devils have lost two straight and are already fighting for their conference lives.

The answer is a marked inability to score on teams displaying the slightest degree of defensive competence themselves: ASU was stuck on 17 points in both of its back-to-back losses against Georgia and Oregon State and is seriously considering going to its own freshman under center, towering (6'8") Brock Osweiler. Look for a maddening score in Pullman somewhere on the order of 11-3. For some real football, tune in later to see a stealthily competent Arizona take on an early-blooming Washington instead.

  • Oklahoma State (3-1) at Texas A&M (3-1)
Oklahoma State is without Dez Bryant for the immediate future, did you hear? And Texas A&M is 3-1, which is very, very good for them, and it's a road game, so certainly the Cowboys are in for a bellyflop, right? Not so much. A&M's wins have come against the floundering hordes of New Mexico, Utah State, and UAB, and the Aggies only managed to score 19 points on a gracious Arkansas defense en route to a humbling shellacking last week.

They're bad at football, is what we're saying, and it's about to start showing, and it won't even be showing in entertaining fashion with the loss of Bryant's acrobatics for the otherwise disinterested highlight reels. Sleepy bloodbaths are no kind of fun.

• Florida International (0-4) at Western Kentucky (0-4)
This one's just downright painful. The loser will bottom out in the Sun Belt. The winner will ... rise to fourth in the Sun Belt? Maybe? The Golden Panthers have held opposing offenses below 40 only once this season, in a 23-15 slog with Rutgers. Western Kentucky has lost its first four games as full-fledged members of I-A by a combined score of 164-49. Should be a barn-burner.

Western Kentucky Line Watch
Tracking the odds against I-A's newest cubs.
The Hilltoppers are 4- to 5-point underdogs to the much-maligned Golden Panthers, depending on the line. But hey, at least the Hilltoppers rated a line this week! Baby steps, WKU.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.