The official charges against Florida State's Maurice Harris, arrested by the FSU Police Department Monday night, are "grand theft and possession of a motor vehicle with altered identification numbers," both capital-F felonies that have the reserve linebacker in serious hot water. On the surface, those are damning facts.

Here are some more facts, according to reports that trickled out today. The item stolen in the alleged "grand theft"? A parking boot, likely applied to a motorcycle for outstanding parking tickets. How did FSU police connect the boot to Harris? He was ratted out by an inadvertent snitch, his strength coach, Todd Stroud. How does a strength coach incriminate one of his players in multiple felonies involving a missing parking boot? The Orlando Sentinel explains:

... here’s what happened: Last week, on Wednesday, FSU parking services use a parking boot to immobilize a motorcycle. The motorcycle, police presume, belongs to Harris. The next day, on Thursday, the bike is gone. And so is the boot. Then, yesterday, someone spots the missing bike, sans boot. A campus police officer is called out to the scene. And FSU parking services indeed identifies the motorcycle as the one they’d booted just days before.

So the officer contacts Todd Stroud, the Florida State strength and conditioning coach. Somehow, the officer knew that Stroud had been riding around on Monday on this motorcycle ... OK, so Stroud says he’d borrowed the bike from Harris. Stroud calls Harris. The officer asks Harris, according to the affidavit, “to explain this situation about his motorcycle."

Next, the officer reads Harris his rights, and the officer begins questioning Harris "about the location of the missing parking boot." ... Then, according to the affidavit, Harris says he does "not want to continue the interview about the missing parking boot." So off to jail he goes, where he’s released early this morning on $3,500 bond.

The next step for police is proving that the motorcycle actually belongs to Harris, which, despite the arrest and bond, etc., multiple reports indicate they have not yet done. Lessons learned here:

a) Never trust a strength coach with your vehicle or your legal standing.
b) Always keep your tags, inspection sticker and registration up to date, and
c) If you find yourself contemplating a specific action, and that action sounds like something Homer Simpson would do ...

... reevaluate your options before taking further steps, OK?