Obviously, Colorado is off to a rough start: Coach Dan Hawkins' goal of "10 wins and no excuses" has melted quickly under losses that are, well, inexcusable, to Colorado State and Toledo, two of the most winnable games on the Buffs' schedule. Local papers are already looking into Hawkins' prohibitive buyout to calculate how much it will cost the cash-strapped university to get rid of him after three (or four, if this year goes on as expected) losing seasons. The obligatory Fire [Coach X] Web site is up and running. More than any other typically respectable program except maybe Virginia after two weeks, the Buffs are fighting back from rock-bottom.

Rock-bottom -- an appropriate cliché for a team so bad out of the gate, even the geology professors are calling out players in class:

"I have this geology class," senior linebacker and captain Marcus Burton said Tuesday, "and the professor's like, 'You people may think this class is boring. We're just talking about rocks. But it's no more boring than both the CU games. Marcus, you're a captain. Can you tell us about that?'

"He calls me out on the floor. I wanted to leave, but I didn't. I'm in the class to learn. I'm not there to talk about football."

No word on Burton's subsequent explanation for the team's ills.

Boulder professors tend to be portrayed as granola types who'd just as soon the football team didn't exist, but the unnamed professor in question actually sounds like a man who cares as passionately for his Buffs as he does for his Alluvial fans -- yes, so passionately he's willing to ignore the angel on his shoulder whispering "Decorum ... Decorum" in order to intentionally humiliate one of the young men partially responsible for their demise in front of his peers. As punishment? As a sympathetic forum? As "a teachable moment"? His motivations are mysterious and potentially legion.

But he will be reprimanded and forced to apologize by the head of the department. Which I guess counts as the team's first victory of the season.

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Hat tip: Sportress of Blogitude.