The week in the undercards.

Quiet. Too quiet.
The BCS hoi polloi remains at a standstill, with TCU and Boise State hanging onto their No. 4 and No. 6 slots, respectively, in the latest Series standings. BYU is also still ranked in the top 20, for reasons beyond even the good Doctor's understanding, and Utah and Houston linger down there in those 20-something slots that go to teams no one knows quite what to do with. Click the above link for more on why these standings are unlikely to change in the next couple weeks, but the short version is this: TCU is a virtual lock for one of the at-large bids, but Boise State may be on the outside looking in for another, for reasons that have nothing to do with the Broncos' march to another undefeated regular season on the field.

It's all local.
Moving from the national picture, then, to the conference championship races, where we have some excitement:

• The main event will be another Friday WAC night showdown on the blue turf, where Boise puts its perfect record and four-year home winning streak on the line against streaking Nevada, winner of eight straight and home to the most statistically dominant rushing attack in any conference in recent memory. The Wolf Pack are by far the greatest threat to the Broncos' in-conference dominance and BCS pretensions, and can walk away with their first WAC crowd since joining the league with a very plausible road upset.

• Central Michigan has locked up its half of the MAC with a 7-0 run in league play, but the East Division comes to a head this weekend when first place Temple (7-0) heads to second-place Ohio U. (6-1) in a rubber match that could provide the Owls one of the most unlikely 10-win seasons in history and their first trip to the conference title game in Detroit.

• Conference-USA is a mess of 5-2 teams on both sides, but East Carolina, the only six-win squad in the bunch, gets Southern Miss at home Saturday in a winner-take-all tilt for the East Division title. Houston reassumed the lead in the West Division with SMU's loss at Marshall and ought to be reasonably certain of handling Rice to sew up the other berth in the C-USA title game.

• Troy went ahead and clinched the Sun Belt title for the fourth year in a row with a convincing dismantling of Florida Atlantic. Middle Tennessee and Louisiana-Monroe will be at it this weekend for runner-up honors, with a likely bowl bid dangling from the arena ceiling for the first team to the top of the ladder.

Coaches! Get your coaches! Fresh coaches, bought and sold!
Texas A&M cast-off Dennis Franchione to UNLV? Sure, why not? To crib a little Dave Eggers, we are ardent admirers of the rich and insane, and as such are fully behind the constant employment of Fran-Fran, Jackie Sherrill, Barry Switzer and all the Bowdens. Make us proud, short-sighted athletic directors, and more importantly, keep us entertained with an endless supply of secret newsletter jokes.

In actual coaching news, Stanford running backs coach Willie Taggart has been named head coach at Western Kentucky. Before you start wondering why on earth anyone would want this job under an administration that fired its head coach before the end of its first official season in the I-A ranks, please note that Taggart's a former Hilltopper player and assistant coach. Whatever else happens on the field, a familiar face stands a chance of putting more warm bodies in seats, which we suppose is a start.

The Field is Their X-Box.
Our first order of business in the offseason will be the assembly of a boy band composed entirely of mid-major quarterbacks with ridiculous, arcade-caliber numbers spiraling joyously to the sky. Between them, Houston's Case Keenum, Boise State's Kellen Moore, Central Michigan's Dan LeFevour, Nevada's Colin Kaepernick, UAB's Joe Webb and BYU's Max Hall averaged just a shade over 300 total yards this weekend, and if they can do that to opposing secondaries individually, just imagine the havoc they'll wreak on the hearts of teen girls everywhere when you put them all together. (Want some ground guys? We got your backup singers right here: Nevada now has three 1,000-yard rushers after Luke Lippinccott's 162-yard performance against New Mexico State, joining Kaepernick and Vai Taua as the most prolific single-season trio in NCAA history.)

Mini-Major Meltdown Watch.
Chattanooga and Florida International were short on drama in predictably grisly blowouts at the hands of top-ranked powerhouses Alabama and Florida, respectively, but for fans of the really little guys there's always the Harvard-Yale fake punt and Bethel-Sterling bouquet affairs. Don't say we never did nothing for ya.

Profiles in continuing ineptitude.
One more out the cellar! New Mexico finally broke the seal on the win column by beating free-falling Colorado State, 29-27, on a field goal with 12 seconds on the clock to hand the Rams their eighth straight defeat. Still-winless Eastern Michigan, on the other hand, put up no kind of fight against Toledo, and hopeless Western Kentucky (mercifully) had the week off before resuming its quixotic journey for a 'W' this week at Florida Atlantic.

What should have been ...
How are the mighty haka-dancers fallen: We like it when Hawaii's good simply because the Warriors on television more, and their pregame psych-out routine is truly glorious to behold in HD. The Warriors aren't going to be ready for primetime again any time soon, however, if they keep letting lame-duck teams like San Jose State take them to overtime with bowl-eligibility at stake. Hawaii can scrape into the postseason with upsets over Navy and Wisconsin on the islands, but don't hold your breath.

... and what never had a prayer:
Nevada beat New Mexico State like a two-dollar, redheaded, rented mule in one of the Wolf Pack's patented late-night routs, rolling up 671 yards of total offense for Kaepernick & Co. in a 63-20 obliteration.

Player of the Week: Martevious Young, QB, Southern Miss.



For throwing a 60-yard touchdown on USM's first offensive snap, for following that up with three more scores (including a 95-yard bomb), for refraining from turning the ball over while being apparently determined to match points-happy Tulsa's total all by his lonesome in a 44-34 Golden Eagle win, for doing all this despite not taking over for injured starter Austin Davis until halfway through the season, and for attending the same fine institution as the good Doctor himself, we salute you, sir. (Also, being named "Martevious" doesn't hurt.)

(A Somewhat Arbitrary) Mid-Major Top 10
1. TCU (11-0) Even the Doc is getting in the Horned Frogs' corner.
2. Boise State (11-0) What, couldn't crack 60? It's Utah State! (Kidding. Kinda.)
3. Central Michigan (9-2) Did we mention the vast majority of quarterback Dan LeFevour's season-high numbers were accumulated in the first three quarters?
4. Temple (9-2) Even when the wins kept coming, we never really thought we'd see Temple in a conference championship game. But here the Owls go, if they can get past Ohio, and good on 'em.
5. Nevada (8-3) If any pollsters are set on dropping Boise State for an actual reason, now's your chance to hop on the Wolf Pack wagon.
6. BYU (9-2) Bumped for a convincing win over Air Force, a team we think is not terrible for a change.
7. Navy (8-3) Off this week, which should help with the upcoming time-zone hopping en route to Hawaii.
8. Utah (9-2) After Saturday's game with BYU, both Beehive State powers will somehow still be ranked in the top 25. Just you watch.
9. Houston (9-2) That's a nice victory margin, but it's still just Memphis.
10. MTSU (8-3) A decided pantsing of Arkansas State puts the Blue Raiders in the Sun Belt two-spot.

Stay Tuned.
On tap for Thanksgiving weekend: Northern Illinois at Central Michigan, Temple at Ohio, Nevada at Boise State, Southern Miss at East Carolina, UCF at UAB, Utah at BYU, and Navy at Hawaii.

• Most Realistic Upset: We're calling for Ball State to upset Western Michigan, because Western Michigan is not that good, and because the idea of Ball State following up an undefeated regular season in 2008 with a single, lonely win in 2009 makes us feel sad in the black voids where our hearts should be.

• Most Unrealistic Upset: Nevada at Boise State. The Broncos are favored by ten, but they've also got a vague facsimile of a defense. And forget Northern Illinois at Central Michigan. They're only 10-point underdogs, but they're not going to spoil LeFevour's final home game.

• Most Inevitably Gruesome Blowout: New Mexico at TCU. Seriously, it's not even fair what's about to happen out there.

Scoreboard.
Florida International was the only school carrying a mid-major flag against one of the big boys this week, and came back bearing the wounds of a 62-3 shredding in the Swamp for its trouble. After 12 weeks, mid-major programs are 19-92 against BCS conference schools.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.