The week in the undercards.

Can this please-oh-please be the year the "300" jokes finally die out? Along with "This is madness!" we bury Michigan State's hopes of in-state dominance, as the Spartans were outslugged by Dan LeFevour and his Central Michigan band of brothers, 29-27. Mid-Major Monday's favorite quarterback will garner the most press coverage this week, but Saturday's was a true team effort -- the Chippewas' defense put on a stifling performance on its biggest stage of the season.

Even Cowboys get the red-and-blues. This time last week, Oklahoma State was the toast of the polls and fresh off a big win over Georgia. But Houston's high-octane offense combined with a series of unfortunate mistakes on the part of the Cowboys -- a tipped fourth down pass here, a fumbled snap there -- and just a little luck proved a lethal combination. Bye bye, top-five ranking. In "BCS Buster" terms, Houston is the Cinderella story of the week, but they'd better not take too long getting back to work: A bad night with Texas Tech on the 26th would send UH straight back to the pumpkin patch.

"Rallying" is not a word you want associated with "versus Bowling Green." Missouri fans mourned the departure of Chase Daniel (as we lamented the end of our pizza delivery man jokes), but after Week 1 it looked like things were in good hands with mega-hyped successor Blaine Gabbert. That star dropped a little closer to earth Saturday, but the mighty Tigers pulled one out, 27-20. Versus Bowling Green. At home.

50 percent of the time, it works every time. As astutely predicted last week by moi, Louisiana-Lafayette took down an increasingly miserable Kansas State outfit with a last-minute field goal. Ragin' Cajun fans celebrated by drinking themselves into oblivion and frying anything that would hold still long enough to be dipped in batter. (This is indistinguishable from their game day ritual after a loss. In related news, I should've been born in Louisiana.)

Sorry, that should read "10 wins over a 10-year period and no excuses ..." What on earth is happening up in Boulder? Expecting Toledo to be competitive when Colorado came to town turned out to be giving far too much credit to the Buffs, who rolled into the MAC nursing wounds from a home-opener loss to paltry Colorado State (more on whom later) and came away bloody-mouthed in a 54-38 defeat. It was a short week of practice and a long trip to Ohio, and Darrell Scott finally lived up to his billing, sort of, with an 85-yard effort in the first half, but this is a scary, scary collapse for a team that travels to West Virginia in just over two weeks and Texas the week following.

What Should Have Been ...
UNLV lost to Oregon State with seven seconds remaining and Air Force's attempt to nick the Big Ten's out-of-conference record fell just short, but the real mid-major heartbreaker this weekend was Fresno State, which took Wisconsin to double overtime, in Camp Randall, and came away empty-handed, 34-31. Bret Bielema blamed his team's poor performance on "flu-like symptoms" affecting a large number of players, which are startlingly similar to the symptoms of "not being very good at football."

... and What Never Had a Prayer:
Pity Troy and Wyoming, on the receiving ends of merciless bids by Florida and Texas to remain solid poll gold by obliterating overmatched teams. Big ups to Florida International, though, for hanging in there with Alabama longer than anyone thought possible -- the Tide led by a mere six points at halftime and didn't put the pedal to the floor until late in the final frame.

Token Mini-Major Meltdown:  In your close calls division, we have Colorado State barely escaping Weber State, Florida State scraping by Jacksonville State, New Mexico State surviving something called "Prairie View A&M," and Maryland needing overtime to slip the clutches of mighty James Madison. Your actual Mini-Major Meltdown winner of the week: Ball State 16, New Hampshire 23. Coming after a loss to North Texas, it's safe to say these Cardinals are not the 12-2 darlings of 2008.

Player of the Week: Dan LeFevour, the pitch-dark horse Heisman candidate of Mid-Major Monday. There can be no other. Thirty-three of 46 for 328, three scores and a pick against a Big Ten defense, this while taking three sacks and getting scant run support -- not that it was needed.

A Somewhat Arbitrary Mid-Major Top 10
1. BYU (2-0): Only beat Tulane, but still the darkhorse contender of record.
2. Houston (2-0): Would be our No. 1 out of sentiment had they not allowed OK State to hang 35 on them.
3. Boise State (2-0): Still hanging below because we're still pretty sure Oregon is awful.
4. TCU (1-0): Welcome to 2009! Texas Christian opens their season with a road win over Virginia, if that's still worth anything.
5. Utah (2-0): A marquee win, San Jose State ain't, but undefeated the reigning darlings remain.
6. Louisiana-Lafayette (2-0): It's Kansas State, but it's still a Big XII win. Welcome, Ragin' Cajuns.
7. Navy (1-1): Handled Louisiana Tech with relative ease.
8. Central Michigan (1-1): On the board thanks to Dan The Man & His Defense Band.
9. Southern Miss (2-0): Enjoy your alma mater's undefeatedness, Doc.
10. Colorado State (2-0): Weber State?? It's not a loss, but you're on notice, Rams.
Dropped out: Air Force, East Carolina

Stay Tuned. Games we'll have an eye on this week include Boise State at Fresno State, Toledo vs. Ohio State, Utah at Oregon and Navy at Pitt. With the exception of the Rockets-Buckeyes tilt they're all boasting spreads of about a touchdown, and we think the 20- to 21-point line there either isn't giving Toledo quarterback Aaron Opelt enough credit or is giving Ohio State's sluggish offense too much.

• Most Realistic Upset: This week in big name programs that may or may not be terrible, Al Groh brings his band of Misfit Toys to Southern Miss, and Wyoming travels to face a suddenly and totally inept Colorado squad, and we're taking both mid-majors to win outright.

• Most Unrealistic Upset: Tulsa at Oklahoma. Still Tulsa without Gus Malzahn? Opponents thus far too pitiful to say, one way or the other. Still Oklahoma without Bradford? Not really, but he wasn't their only weapon, and the excellently-mustachioed freshman backup Landry Jones can only improve with time.

• Most Inevitably Gruesome Blowout(s): If the Gamecocks can muster anything like this past Saturday's offensive output against Georgia, Florida Atlantic is in for a long night in Columbia while Steve Spurrier works out his three-quarter-life crisis. Oklahoma State will have plenty of soft targets at Rice to make the case their trip to the top ten wasn't an erroneous fluke, and we're positively salivating with anticipation at the thought of a lackluster Florida State team traveling to face BYU after scraping by Jacksonville State in the final minute.

Scoreboard. After two weeks of competition, mid-major teams are 8-48 against Big Six conference schools. As you might expect, the Mountain West is tall(ish) in the saddle at 3-5, while the lowly MAC trudges behind at 2-12.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.