• The best news you've heard all year? False alarm. I am confident that across Alabama, many Auburn fans literally did not sleep last night with the late-breaking rumor that Will Muschamp will be named the Tigers head coach dancing in their head. The pizazz of the prodigal son tinged with the sweet tears of jilted Texas fans would have made for the home run hire Auburn feared was slipping from its grasp. But alas: Muschamp reached out overnight to AuburnSports.com ($) to specifically deny the report out of Mobile (and then SportsCenter, apparently) that he's leaving Austin, and more than one message board called the report bogus. Totally bogus.

Combined with the first-person submarining of the even more far-out (yet inevitable) Steve Spurrier rumors, the Auburn papers today focus on a new potential frontrunner, Gary Patterson, who interviewed Thursday in Fort Worth; of course, there are more names on today's interview docket, so expect completely different rumors to leak out by Friday's Miller Time.

• Welcome home, Marrone. Syracuse is much more confident in its overnight rumor that the Orange will be announcing Saints offensive coordinator Doug Marrone as SU boss very soon, possibly today. The Marrone thing broke on ESPN Radio in Chicago, hit the NFL Network just before the Saints kicked off against the Bears Thursday night and wound up on ESPN's Big East blog in the middle of the night, all citing independent confirmation.

'Cuse AD Daryl Gross is still stonewalling, of course, only saying he's "closing in on a candidate," but Marrone, a Syracuse alum, has far more traction than the last sure thing, Skip Holtz, ever did: He's supposed to be flying to New York this morning to close the deal, and the school -- along with the winter weather -- is rolling out the welcome mat.

• A friend indeed. If you're ever out to commit a petty crime, be sure to bring someone along who values friendship as much as Ohio State defensive end Nathan Williams:

Williams, 19, was arrested by Beavercreek police and charged with shoplifting three shirts valued at $80 from the Macy's department store in the Mall at Fairfield Commons in suburban Dayton.

"I took the blame for somebody; I didn't do anything," Williams said last night.

He said he was with a friend, and as they were walking out of the store, the alarm went off. His friend told him he had the three shirts, and Williams agreed to take the shirts -- and the blame.

"If he got in trouble for this, he would be in jail," Williams said.

Instead, Williams faces possible jail time for a first-degree misdemeanor, up to six months along with a $1,000 fine. If the "friend" wasn't a female who is now very grateful for young Nate's sacrifice, he's getting ripped off.

• We'll just pretend the Tennessee thing didn't happen. Fans (like me) who only know Dave Clawson from his brief appearance as coordinator of the horror show offense that killed the Fulmer era at Tennessee are surely mystified by his apparent reemergence late Thursday as the new head coach at Bowling Green. His results with the Vols were so atrocious -- 115th nationally in total offense, 110th in scoring and seven games with 14 points or less in an eight-game stretch at midseason, ending with the 13-7 humiliation against Wyoming -- that it's easy to overlook the stellar record as head coach at Fordham and Richmond that landed him the UT job in the first place; Clawson was twice named Division I-AA's national coach of the year. That's the Clawson the Falcons are hoping to get, rather than the one who was saddled with Jonathan Crompton, Nick Stephens and no discernible philosophy until the running game took center stage in the year-end wins over Vanderbilt and Kentucky.

As for the Vols' other coaches, longtime defensive coordinator John Chavis -- whose defense quietly rocked, just as it did during the 2005 disaster, finishing fourth nationally in total D -- appears destined for Clemson, where the Tigers are shilling out to surround Dabo Swinney with veteran assistants. And as for the old boss, don't worry about poor Phil Fulmer: He's only getting $125,000 a month, luxury suite tickets and a car for the next 48 months. No wonder Knoxville is singing the blues this Christmas.

Quickly ... Staying with the Vols, six different Tennessee players underwent surgery Thursday, including linebacker Rico McCoy, who's expected to return in time for spring practice with three others. ... San Diego State has narrowed its coaching search to three finalists: Dennis Franchione, DeWayne Walker and Brady Hoke. Why Walker or Hoke would want the Aztec job is beyond anyone, so ... welcome back, Coach Fran? ... Arizona linebacker Sterling Lewis has been suspended for the Las Vegas Bowl after earning a DUI charge early Thursday morning. ... Sam Bradford is met with a chorus of 'Gator Bait' on the red carpet before winning the Davey O'Brien Award. ... Not surprisingly, freakish USC safety Taylor Mays is weighing his options where the NFL is concerned. ... More Sugar Bowl ticket tips from the Birmingham News. ... Javon Ringer inspires the first story in Atlanta Journal Constitution history teased with the word 'Motormouthin''. ... And Arizona is recruiting the spawn of both Joe Montana and Jerry Rice.