First of all, this may not be football, but I would like to point out: One of these teams was ranked. That is all.

• Nothing to see here. North Carolina's problematic scholarship numbers have been widely chronicled since it became obvious last fall how far Butch Davis' recruiting efforts were going to outpace available slots; last week, I figured UNC would have to lose six to eight scholarship players to come in under NCAA-mandated limits. And so the Heels are on their way:

North Carolina has dismissed three football players for violating team rules, a team spokesman said.

Mark House was a walk-on deep snapper; Kenny Harris was a linebacker/defensive end who redshirted last season; and Anthony Parker-Boyd was a wide receiver who also served as scout team quarterback.

There's no word on the nature of the rules broken here, which would be helpful: Harris and Parker-Boyd were both scholarship players unlikely to see playing time this year, or ever, and their exits are very, very convenient. By the Raleigh News&Observer's count, UNC is left with 24 or 25 openings, depending on whether a suspended player returns, just enough once the incoming, 29-man class is trimmed to the requisite twenty-five.

• Today, on 'As the Bryce Turns.' Like his brother before choosing Miami last year, top-ranked running back Bryce Brown plans to fast before making his much-anticipated college decision next month, and it turns out mentor/agent Brian Butler doesn't take too kindly to reporters who describe the ritual as "goofy." In the meantime, Butler told his good buddy and occasional shill, CBS' Dennis Dodd, that Miami is still in the mix for Brown, despite the expiration of the U's offer on Wednesday. Maybe, but remember: Butler isn't exactly a trustworthy source when it comes to his clients' scholarship offers, particularly where Miami is involved. • Thanks for your time, coach, and good riddance. Cal offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti is ditching Berkeley after one season for more money and some down home, economically depressed, Rust Belt cookin' on Dave Wannstedt's staff at Pitt (Cignetti is a Steel City native). How broken up is Cal over this defection? Not as upset as they are over losing their fullback, according to San Jose Mercury News' Jon Wilner:

Here’s how I’d rank the departures in terms of impact on the ‘09 season, from most to least significant: ... 1. center Alex Mack, 2. offensive line coach/co-offensive coordinator Jim Michalczik, 3. fullback Will Ta’ufo’ou, 4. guard Noris Malele, 5. offensive coordinator/quarterbacks coach Frank Cignetti and 6. quarterback Nate Longshore.

(Yes, [marginal tight end] Cameron Morrah would be ahead of Cignetti, too. Not being a senior, he slipped my mind -- I still can’t get used to the idea that he turned pro. But obviously … Thanks for the reminder.)

So Cignetti is headed home to Pittsburgh. Wake me when it matters.
[...]
... does anyone think the Bears benefitted significantly from Cignetti’s presence? Does anybody think the playcalling was all that dynamic? Does anybody think the quarterbacks were that well coached?

This could be just the opportunity Jeff Tedford needed to get his vintage 2004 playcalling groove back, although after watching the Bears for the first time in the Emerald Bowl, I think I speak for most viewers when I say: Who needs an expensive coordinator to figure out you should just hand the ball to Jahvid Best? (Sounds like Cignetti will be right at home under Wannstedt, by the way.)

• Huge, belligerent drunks will be boys. Alex Boone's Hulk smash rampage after the Super Bowl -- in which the towering ex-Ohio State lineman was found jumping up and down on the hoods of cars and attempting to smash the window of a tow truck before fleeing police, who eventually subdued the Andre the Giant wannabe with a pair of taserings -- has resulted in a charge: Public intoxication, a misdemeanor. No word on Boone's progress in rehab.

Quickly ... Like everyone else, Mike Leach would be shocked if Texas Tech fired him with two years left on his existing deal. He also tossed out the 'E' word. ... Cincinnati introduced Bob Diaco as its new defensive coordinator, just two months after Virginia introduced Bob Diaco as its defensive coordinator. The Cavs have regained the services of Ron Prince, a UVA assistant before his stint as head coach at Kansas State, who'll be the special teams coach and assistant head coach back in Charlottesville. ... The Justice Department has given the City of Memphis until September 2010 to complete $40 million in ADA-compliant renovations to the Liberty Bowl. ... Of the 11 Alabama who underwent surgery after the season, only two, Roy Upchurch and Earl Alexander, will be limited for spring practice. Julio Jones, off shoulder and wrist surgeries, should be fine. ... The Orlando Sentinel's Alan Schmadtke compared BCS to the financial collapse. ... Houston Nutt is the raht man fuh Ole Miss, yes-suh. ... Yes, the Mount Rushmore thing is very stupid, obviously. ... And USC fans are very interested to know what's up with this picture.