• On that thing that is happening Saturday. Finalists for that one trophy of no particular importance -- you know, that one, whatever it's called -- have been identified. See if you can spot the Most Outstanding candidate in this clip:

If you said the passer or receiver of the season's most dramatic, far-reaching touchdown, sorry: The Downtown Athletic Club has established a firm "No Pirates Allowed" policy. Texas Tech's Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree will not be swinging their swords in New York, unless it's swooping in on a rope from the balcony to hijack the award from a stunned Sam Bradford, Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy, who will be there by invitation. Snubbing Harrell, I understand, despite his ridiculous numbers, after Wednesday's SweaterGate scandal. But Crabtree? I guess 93 catches for 18 touchdowns and the biggest play of the year just aren't what they used to be.

On the other hand, we get to see meticulously produced puff pieces and coaches/parents/Chris Fowler fawning over three clean-cut, white quarterbacks from high profile mega-schools. Hooray for progress.

• Auburn flirting a little too much? Auburn has widened its net to include Ball State's Brady Hoke and (probably) Todd Graham of Tulsa, who both parried with the media Wednesday at their GMAC Bowl press conference. But with the New York leg of the Tigers' search hitting the road, the competition for fan favorite Turner Gill is heating up: Buffalo's AD has approved Syracuse to talk to Gill, while talk in New York is that Gill will have to "jump through a few hoops" to land the Auburn gig.

Ray Melick in the Birmingham News echoes my sentiments about the Tigers' search: If it's not Gill, unless a major name emerges from the ether, AU is flirting with disaster.

• Small time criminal, big time crimes. Is there a rulebook anywhere at Alabama State, by any chance? Why? Oh, no reason:

Alabama State University’s football program was placed on five years’ probation by the NCAA on Wednesday and must forfeit all games won in the 2000 and 2001 seasons, including the 2001 Southwest Athletic Conference championship.

The NCAA also banned Alabama State from playing in the postseason in 2009, including the SWAC title game.

The Committee on Infractions found the Hornets program guilty of 17 rules violations that allegedly occurred in the football program from 1999-2003. The violations include changing grades, allowing ineligible players to play and practice, conducting offseason workouts that are not allowed by NCAA rules and members of the coaching staff making illegal contact with recruits. (Emphasis added)

Yikes. This sounds like the harshest one-time Association smackdown since it imposed the "death penalty" on SMU in the mid-eighties, which only seems appropriate because there's barely a rule the Hornets didn't break in that account. And the coach under which all this malfeasance occurred, L.C. Cole -- who was fired as ASU in 2003, for obvious reasons -- was just hired last week by Stillman College in Tuscaloosa. He'll be forced to attend compliance seminars in each of the next two years.

Quickly ... Dan Mullen was met at the airport by Mississippi State fans and got a standing ovation at the Bulldogs' basketball game Wednesday night. ... The SEC's Coach of the Year award is split three different ways, and I can't really argue with that. ... Pat Devlin, a one-time four-star quarterback recruit who expected to compete with Darryl Clark for Penn State's starting job this year, is expected to transfer, probably to I-AA school where he won't be forced to sit out in 2009. ... Humongous Arkansas tight end Andrew Davie, an ex-minor league baseball player, won't be back for a fifth year. ... Is Phil Fulmer just like John Cooper? ... How is Utah's offense preparing for Alabama's defense? ... Linebacker E.J. Savannah, Washington's leading tackler in 2007, will rejoin the Huskies for 2009, while Steve Sarkisian fills out its staff. ... John Morton will replace Sarkisian as USC's offensive coordinator, but it's not official just yet. ... S And Bob Stoops and Urban Meyer go Hollywood with the crystal football.