• He'll be back. Charlie Weis' "week in coaching no-man's land" ends today, according to an anonymous source in the South Bend Tribune, which reports Notre Dame will announce Weis' return for 2009 despite losing four of the last five and suffering back-to-back humiliations against Syracuse and USC. There's no word from Weis or AD Jack Swarbrick, who were both still in California Tuesday night, but a South Bend TV station was apparently reporting the same thing Tuesday.

The Tribune focuses immediately on the obvious double standard in keeping Weis for the same record after four years that got Tyrone Willingham fired after three. Why? Race is mentioned, of course, but the other reasons seem more likely to me: Weis, like Swarbrick and university president John Jenkins, is a Notre Dame graduate, and his hastily-orchestrated buyout -- thrown together to protect Weis from the NFL after narrowly losing to the '05 USC juggernaut -- is beyond the pale. And the rest of college football laughs and laughs.

• Nobody poaches Phil Knight's coordinators. Oregon wrapped its arms around Chip Kelly and put its much-sought offensive coordinator in a big bear hug Monday, naming Kelly coach-in-waiting behind Mike Bellotti, who'll become Oregon's AD when he steps down. Quotes therein suggest that could be sooner than his age (Bellotti turns 58 in a couple weeks) would suggest, maybe as soon as 2010.

This is typically shrewd: Kelly didn't get anything like Will Muschamp's $900,000 windfall (there is an annual retention bonus), but like Muschamp and fellow heirs-in-waiting Jimbo Fisher and Joker Phillips, Kelly has been heavily pursued the last couple seasons, and had been heavily linked to the Syracuse job even before Saturday's 700-yard romp at Oregon State raised his profile and market value that much more. He was probably going to interview with the Orange today before the ducks promised to hand over the keys to a much flashier ride.

Speaking of which: Nike has begun design on accompanying hideous uniforms-in-waiting. I don't want to give anything away, but ... there will be glow sticks.

• Speed kills, size merely maims beyond recognition. First of all, I love this work by the Gainesville Sun:

In more substantial news, Terrence Cody's Florida counterpart in the middle of the defensive line, Brandon Antwine, is lost for the postseason to a torn ACL. The good news for the Gators is that Percy Harvin's ankle is getting thumbs up for Saturday since the weekend scare, though he won't be back at practice until later in the week. Harvin was questionable for a near-identical situation in 2006, when he was knocked out of the FSU game with a concussion, was questionable for the SEC Championship against Arkansas and wound up walking away as the game's MVP.

Quickly ... Tommy Tuberville's "evaluation" with Auburn powerbrokers could last the rest of the week. ... 9-3 Georgia Tech is staying in Atlanta for New Year's to play in the Peach Bowl, or whatever they're calling it these days, and 7-5 Clemson is going to the Gator for Dabo Swinney's debut a full-time boss. ... Clemson defensive coordinator Vic Koening resigned ahead of the Gator Bowl to have better prospects in case he's not retained on Swinney's staff. ... New Purdue coach Danny Hope has hired Florida Atlantic coach Gary Nord as the Boilermakers' new offensive coordinator. ... USC wide receiver Vidal Hazelton, an ex-blue chip who's had a somewhat rocky career at USC, has decided to transfer. ... New Wyoming coach Dave Christensen reviews the troops. ... UConn running back Andre Dixon was charged with drunken driving and suspended indefinitely by Randy Edsall. ... Kevin Craft, silent punching bag. ... Kentucky quarterback Randall Cobb is underwent knee surgery Tuesday and hopes to return in time for a bowl game. ... Mark Richt may be loyal to a fault with his assistants. ... Alabama players are going for an SEC Championship beard. ... And Sam Bradford's pass efficiency rating is way, way off the charts, even the best charts.