• Perfecto. If you missed it, Ball State locked up a perfect regular season with a convincing 45-24 rout over Western Michigan, which came into the game with one MAC loss (to Central Michigan, who had no conference losses before going down to BSU last week) and a win over Illinois. All things considered -- the wins over CMU and Navy were much more competitive -- it was probably the Cardinals' most impressive effort of the year, and locks them into next Saturday's MAC Championship against ... survey says ... wait, Buffalo? Seriously? Who's going to protect Turner Gill from the mob of coach-less schools stalking his home at night if the perpetually hapless Bulls engineer an upset for the conference title?

The other Tuesday night game was Navy's surprisingly low-scoring, 16-0 win over Northern Illinois, which the Midshipmen took in typical Navy fashion: Quarterback Ricky Dobbs' line for the night was 21 carries for 102 yards and 1-of-1 passing for 32 yards. The loss knocks Northern Illinois to 6-6, which, with the potential shortage of eligible teams, might still get the Huskies into the postseason. Who wouldn't travel for a bowl showdown with the fourth place team in the MAC West?

• One more round of Shady. Kids usually wait to make these decisions, and LeSean McCoy has two more regular season games and a bowl game left to change his mind, but as of Tuesday, the redshirt sophomore is coming back to Pittsburgh next year. That gives the Panthers a good excuse to continue avoiding the slow death of the vaguely West Coast-ish stylings of Dave Wannstedt and Matt Cavanaugh, which have wisely taken a back seat to one of the more underrated backs in the country.

Just in case, though, you might want to catch the Panthers' noon date Friday with West Virginia, which lacks the stakes of last year's Brawl in Morgantown but could have roughly the same theme:

• At least they didn't tear the goal posts down this time. I don't see any way around mentioning this, since the story is all over the place, but at least it's going past the jump. Yes, there was debauchery at the Metrodome:

Considering the state of the Minnesota Gophers' crippling loss against the Iowa Hawkeyes last weekend, one could reasonably assume some would have rather watched anything but the action on the field.

That's precisely what police said approximately 15 people did when they observed the action going on inside a men's bathroom at the Metrodome last Saturday.

According to a report filed by University of Minnesota Police, the crowd had gathered to cheer on a couple "having relations" in one of the stalls.

Okay, fine. It's the Gophers' last game in that terrible building, and they're getting absolutely stomped. As the story says, after four straight losses, even stoic Norwegian farmers have to cheer something. Even Iowa fans, given the Hawkeyes' stellar record there lately, are going to miss the place. So consider it a kind of "reverse christening," a fond farewell to the site of so many exchanges of axes, jugs, bronzed pigs and the like, and let's just move on to more mature subjects. Like the 38-year-old woman's divorce proceedings, for example.

Quickly ... Joe Paterno is out of the hospital after hip replacement surgery, just in time for Thanksgiving. ... I guess Tommy Tuberville realizes his team is going down in the Iron Bowl. Just as long as it's not without a fight. ... Chuck Long didn't see it coming (and why should he, after getting a strong a vote of confidence that he would be back in San Diego in 2009?), but the effort to raise money for his buyout had been underway for weeks. ... More Lane Kiffin chatter on Rocky Top. ... Syracuse's coaching search is in bunker mode. ... Boss Gary Pinkel's deal was just extended, but both of Missouri's coordinators are in line for head jobs at mid-major schools. ... Florida's Mike and Maurkice Pouncey missed practice Tuesday after their stepfather lost a leg in a railcar accident. ... Washington safety Tripper Johnson says he's been sick to his stomach since failing to get into position to break up a crucial long throw in Washington State's comeback win in the Apple Cup. And, having seen the play and specifically commented on Johnson's performance therein during Saturday's live blog, he probably should be. ... How Pete Carroll knows Barack Obama is in touch with the people. ... The Texas media folks spent Saturday text-messaging reminders to reporters of the Longhorns' wins over Oklahoma and Missouri. ... And it will always be Jefferson Pilot to me.