Here's why I'm upset today. Maybe you don't care. That's OK. You don't have to care. I'm still going to tell you.

I'm upset today because Midnight Madness -- or Hoosier Hysteria, or Wildcat Wildness (?), or any of the other nonsensical names for college basketball teams' first practice of the season -- those should not be happening this week. Largely, they are not. Most of them are happening next week, when they should be happening, as the usual rules dictate.

But no. People couldn't just do this all on one night. No. Kentucky, and then Illinois, and West Virginia, and a few other schools had to decide to be all "smart" and "attentive to fine print." And using a loophole that states that teams can have a two hours of workout a week, those teams moved their Midnight Madness up a week, TOTALLY CORRUPTING OUR SYSTEM.

I know I should be happy there's some semblance of college basketball this early, even if it is a glorified practice, the highlights of which I will likely never see. But my fellow Americans, no. I am not happy. Because once upon a time, in college basketball, we believed in a thing called ... well, no, we didn't believe in integrity. But we believed in the sanctity of silly rules regarding practice regulations! Yes we did! Kentucky, Illinois, West Virginia: You have violated this sanctity.

For shame, you scoundrels. For. Shame.

Anyway, those are happening tonight and tomorrow, so get ready. I'll be drinking, um, in protest. Yes. In protest. That's why.

Related: Peculiarity, SEC Basketball