Mmm. Snickers.

Everyone has the friend who, despite him- or herself, eats like a moron. This person is likely incredibly skinny and/or athletic, and just never seems to need to watch what he or she eats. Whatever seems tasty at the time goes straight down the unyielding gullet. McDonald's? Sure! Taco Bell? Why not!? Deep fried Snickers? I'll have two! It's an enviable place to be.

The rest of us normal humans, those of us who have to pay attention to whether or not we're consuming more than 4,000 calories a day -- what? I like Chipotle! -- understand the folly in this. That's going to catch up with them later, we say. You can't eat like that your whole life. Have some grains, dude. Apparently, Derrick Rose is no exception.

Rose had stomach issues yesterday, and was excused from media sessions to nurse himself back to health. And teammate Robert Dozier betrayed the cause of the stomach concerns: Derrick Rose eats nothing but candy.

"He just didn’t eat - You don’t eat and your stomach’s supposed to be hurting ... He didn’t eat last night or this morning," Dozier said. "We’ve been having problems with him, making him eat all this year, so it’s nothing major to worry about ... He just eats candy and pineapple and syrup. He never really eats real food. Eating grilled cheese sandwiches, things kids eat. He’s 19, he eats like he’s eight ... He needs (a food pyramid). Someone needs to put one up in his room."

Rose's play in the postseason has been dominant, but it's also been sort of effortless. His game is so smooth and controlled that he never looks like he's exerting himself, even when he's doing something like this. Along with that lack of effort apparently comes a lack of interest in normal, healthy foods. It's all the same thing: people like Rose are so innately talented at everything they do, they don't need to watch their diet. It comes naturally.

Unfortunately, the NCAA tournament is a tough stretch, one that exposes this sort of thing. I don't for a minute think this will affect Rose's game tonight -- John Calipari has been personally grinding pasta down D-Rose's throat for a couple days now -- but it should be a lesson learned. Next year isn't just 40 games. It's 82. As Tony Soprano once said, Derrick: I think it's time for you to seriously consider salad.

• D-Rose Eats Like He's Eight / SportsbyBrooks

Related: Peculiarity, The Big Dance, C-USA Basketball