Inspired by this post, Coach Rank 2009 is The Dagger's creatively named inaugural look at which conferences have the best coaches, and why. After we get through the major conferences, we'll rank them. The whole goal is to make you argue about something that's impossible to prove in any objective way. Sports! Let's do this!

You know the drill. Straight to the tape:

THE STILL BREATHING, SOMEHOW

Ernie Kent, Oregon: Not to be all "fire this bum!" but it is pretty mystifying that Ernie Kent still has his job. After an 8-23 season -- 8-23! Schedule more cupcakes, Ernie! -- you would think a major collegiate athletics program with all those Nike millions pouring into every year would want to find someone to provide a little bit better return on investment than Ernie. In 12 years, Kent's conference record is 102-144. He's been to the NCAA tournament five times; his longest stay was in 2006-07, when an Aaron Brooks-led Ducks team shot their way to a successful season. If Gary Williams had this record at Maryland -- without the title, mind you -- he'd have been gone along ago. Kent lingers. He's got staying power, at least.

THE TOO-SOONERS

Craig Robinson, Oregon State; Johnny Dawkins, Stanford; Sean Miller, Arizona; Ken Bone, Washington State: Of the four newish coaches in the Pac-10 (note: Mike Montgomery doesn't count, for reasons explained below), Craig Robinson is without a doubt the most famous. After all, being the brother-in-law of the President of the United States -- still a popular president, both domestically and internationally -- tends to lend one's day job a little notoriety. So it was with Robinson, and fortunately, he didn't disappoint. Robinson took over a team with no wins in the Pac-10 in 2007-08 and won seven conference games. So the guy can coach, apparently. Now comes program-building. It's only slightly less complicated than nation-building.

Speaking of fame, Dawkins is still more famous for his pro career than for his coaching one, and his first year at Stanford was decidedly weak (6-12 in the Pac-10, 20-14 overall; see how that's done, Ernie?). Former Duke assistant success is sparing. Dawkins' recipe for success at Stanford is a little different than elsewhere, but the expectations are no less rapid. ... Sean Miller should excite every Arizona fan; he quietly made Xavier a Gonzaga-esque national powerhouse without the benefit of a major conference or football money, and next to Tom Izzo, Bruce Weber, and Jim Calhoun, he might be the best defensive coach in the country. ... Ken Bone. Haha. Ken Bone. Haha. You said "bone." Good coach though. Sorry, Ken.

NOT FALLING BEHIND, BUT NOT SHOWING OFF. RIGHT IN THE MEAT OF THE CURVE

Tim Floyd, USC; Lorenzo Romar, Washington; Herb Sendek, Arizona State; Mike Montgomery, California: All four of these coaches are, as the subtitle says (word to George Costanza), good, but not great. All four produce, in their own ways, good, solid, consistently successful programs, but none are near the elite level in any facet, nor do they seem to be approaching it. They're all just ... good. You'd be happy with any of them as your coach. But you're not exactly yearning desperately for their unusual basketball prowess, either.

There are some caveats here. Tim Floyd is a much better recruiter than he is an actual coach, and his occasionally shady recruiting dealings (not to harp on one issue, but taking O.J. Mayo like that, sight unseen, deserves to go down as one of the craziest recruiting stories ever) make him feel sort of, I don't know, vulnerable? ... Lorenzo Romar's 2008-09 was a huge boon for his program, and for his career. After rebuilding Washington and taking it to repeat Sweet 16 births in his third and fourth years, Romar's team suffered two sub-20-win seasons in a row. 2008-09 was a major rebound. ... Herb Sendek's run at N.C. State always felt a little underappreciated, and his third year at ASU was a successful one. A Sweet 16 berth is always a good thing, right? Still, Sendek might have gotten more from stars Jeff Pendergraph and elite draft talent James Harden. ... Mike Montgomery is only one year in to his California tenure, but come on. Everyone knows what you get (at the college level, at least) with Montgomery: plenty of 20-win seasons, plenty of NCAA spots, plenty of success.

KING OF THE HILL

Ben Howland, UCLA: UCLA is the Pac-10's only truly elite program, and Ben Howland is its only truly elite coach. After an 11-17 first year, Howland has run roughshod over the rest of the conference and, really, the rest of the country, making three Final Four appearances, including a tourney runner-up finish in 2005-06. Howland's teams are physical, aggressive and tough, and when his teams are especially good, they defend better than anyone in the country. (Such was not the case in 2008-09, when UCLA uncharacteristically relied on its offense to stay afloat.) Even with that ugly first year on his docket, Howland is 150-54 in his five seasons. He's had success everywhere he's been. He's really, really good. You'd love for him to coach your program. Unfortunately, your program is not UCLA. Sorry.

COMPLETELY ARBITRARY GRADE THAT WILL LATER BE USED FOR AN ONLY SLIGHTLY ARBITRARY RANKING: B-. A few exciting newcomers and a nice, meaty middle tier seem to have the Pac-10 primed for future success, but the lack of any truly elite coaches other than Howland is a problem. Plus, Ernie Kent. So, B-, I guess. I don't know. These grades have no meaning. I hope you didn't just scroll to the end for the grade. That would be sad.

(FYI: I probably screwed something up. Email me or follow me on Twitter to let me know exactly what.)

Related: Pac-10 Basketball, Coach Rank 2009