Bruce Pearl is one of college basketball's best characters. I sort of love him. I'm not sure I would want him coaching my team -- his system, which is seemingly as free-flowing and open as any coach in the country's, requires, like Memphis', superior talent on the floor; when Pearl doesn't have that talent, his teams are just OK -- but I do get a gigantic kick out of his antics. Pearl coaches college basketball the way a 20-year-old college kid would. He soaks it all in, and he's never not having fun.

Example time: That photo to the right, wherein Pearl encouraged his men's team to go shirtless, paint themselves up, and cheer on the Tennessee women's squad at a big home game in 2007. As you can see, he joined. That's a 49-year-old man with less body fat than me, and I'm not even half his age. Impressive and insane. Other examples: Pearl, again shirtless, rapping at the Tennessee sports banquet; or Pearl, shirtless once more, doing his best "I'm On a Boat"; or Pearl, catching some rest on the golf cart.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, Bruce? We know you're getting married. It's a big step, and we're happy for you. She's a great girl, and by "great" we mean she looks pretty cute in photos on the Internet. We're sure you'll be very happy too. The only thing we want to say is that, dude, don't forget about your bros. We've been with you through thick and thin; don't go off and become one of those guys who never takes his shirt off and dances around in front of large crowds of people after he gets married, you know? If there's one thing the critically acclaimed modern marriage treatise "Old School" taught me, it's that that sort of thing always happens. Don't go getting all domestic on us, Bruce. We don't want you to ever change. We ... we love you, man.

Your Bros,

The Internet

Now go out there and marry the girl, huh? Wipes tear from eye. Bro-hug, back-slap, and ... scene.

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